Supporting your child's needs

Many families tell us about the challenges they face supporting neurodivergent children and young people. Two common experiences are dealing with meltdowns and understanding what it means when a child “masks” their feelings or behaviors. Here, we break down these experiences and give you practical strategies to help your child.

Every child is different, and there is no single right way to help. By giving children empathy, understanding, and practical support, you help them feel safe and accepted for who they are. If you have questions or need more tailored strategies, consider reaching out to professionals who specialize in neurodiversity support.  

Helping Children During Meltdowns  

Neurodivergent children may have meltdowns for many reasons, such as being tired, hungry, overwhelmed by noise or lights, dealing with relationship issues, or having trouble coping with daily demands. In these moments, emotions can take over, and it may be very hard for your child to talk or reason calmly.  

• Safety First: make sure everyone in the house is safe. If needed, give your child space to let their emotions settle.  

• Keep it Simple: u se short, clear directions. Too much talking or asking questions can make things harder for your child when they are upset.  

• Avoid Pressuring to Explain: m any neurodivergent children find it hard to talk about or even recognize their feelings, especially during a meltdown. It’s okay if they can’t explain what’s wrong right now.  

• Validate Emotions: let your child know you see their feelings. For example, you might say, “I can see you’re upset. That must feel really tough.”  

• Give Recovery Time: strong emotions like shame, rejection, or feeling criticized can lead to angry outbursts. Give your child time to calm down and reassure them that you are there for them, no matter what.  

• Help with Regulation: sometimes children can’t calm themselves down when they are very upset . You can help by offering a safe sensory space, playing calming music, or encouraging gentle repetitive movements.  

Understanding and Supporting Children Who “Mask”  

“Masking” means hiding or covering up parts of yourself to fit in with others. All humans do this to some extent, but for neurodivergent young people, masking can become a habit that’s hard to break and may hurt their well-being.  

• Why Masking Happens: some children work hard to hide their difficulties, especially at school. That’s why they might seem different at home than in class.  

• Open Communication: keep in touch with teachers and school staff. Good communication makes it easier to understand what’s happening and support your child.  

• Understanding Behaviors: m asking might mean a child suppresses soothing habits like stimming, hides their special interests, copies others’ body language, or rehearses what to say to fit in socially.  

• Raising Awareness: the best way to help reduce the need for masking is to help others understand neurodivergent behaviors and ways of thinking. This helps everyone accept differences.  

• Balancing Coping Strategies: masking can help children cope, but doing it too much can lead to exhaustion or mental health problems. Teach your child self-kindness and encourage them to be compassionate toward themselves.